wishful thinking

Thursday, January 17, 2013

I wish my brain would let my body take a nap every once in a while.
I need it bad. I have been waking up so extremely tired the past week that I began considering the thought that I might possibly be pregnant. I was convinced I was, even took a test, but alas, I am not. Atleast that would have explained why I am so tired. Oh wait, BING! Light turn on, you haven't gotten 5 consecutive hours of sleep the last 6 months due to a big belly and now chunky babe. Both kids are down right now, just finished my workout, and my body is telling me sleep woman, for the love! But then as soon as I cuddle up on the couch and hug a pillow, it's like my brain starts thrashing all these ideas around in my head, and I get all anxious thinking of things I could be doing, things I wish I had, things I wish I was, treats I wish I could devour on this blustery day. It's a lot of wishful thinking and it we all know wishful thinking never brings bright rainbows and sunny skies.

I'll tell you one thing I am justified in wishing for. Spring. I've got a bad case of the winter blues. This past week the weather has just been downright awful. The kids have been great considering we've been indoors all 12 hours of every day. Evelyn has even napped every day this week, which she quit doing about 2 months ago. She's probably so bored of me that napping seems like the more fun option when 1pm rolls around. Don't blame her. If only my body would let me do the same thing.

I was at Trader Joe's the other day and this begonia was calling my name. So I happily placed her in my cart and now on the mantle she sits. Reminding me that brighter days are ahead.


  1. oh I know how you feel girl! Sometimes I am so exhausted but my mind decides it's actually on overdrive and no matter how hard I want to sleep, I cant! Hope you get some rest soon. The weekend is almost here :))

  2. I always used to think that I was going to nap everyday once I was a stay at home mom. Haha! Now when my 20 month old daughter goes down for her nap (that is, if I can actually get her to go down at all, why wont my kid sleep???) I turn into a frantic multitasker trying to do all the the things that I can't get done while she is awake. No way can I actually relax and take a break!

    But hang in there! Hopefully the weather will at least get a bit better so you can get out more.

  3. You're so good! Napping trumps working out for me any day! Practice makes perfect- keep trying!

  4. Oh sweet friend I hear ya, I have a bad case of the winter blues and I can't nap while Judah naps. I keep thinking I have all this stuff to crochet and then when he goes down I feel like my mind wont let me do a thing for the first half hour because I am trying to decompress. Then I will get so antsy that its winter time and Judah hasn't been around a bunch of kids hence why he is running around and driving me crazy and I've looked into every option (indoor play gym) in our area. I looked into the rec centers but all the classes are taken up for Judahs age and the little gym, its crazy expensive, I just can't justify spending $75 a month on a gym where he might miss days because he is probably going to catch a cold from some other kid at the gym.
    (Yes I have these thoughts every day!)
    hopefully spring will be here before you know it
    ps you can always come over here for a play date ;-) I can make muffins

  5. I love the honesty in this post. Hope those winter blues go away quickly!


  6. I love you for admitting your kid isn't sleeping through the night. It seems like everyone (EVERYONE) I've talked to in the last week has told me that their kid was sleeping through the night at 2, 4, or 6 weeks. Makes me want to punch them. And then cry. :) Someday we will get our sleep back!

  7. Not being able to sleep is the worst! I hope you have better luck soon! I love the photo of your new begonia :-)

  8. I tend to have the same problem. A trick I learned (that helps me at least), is to start counting backwards by 4 from 300. The task focuses my brain away from all the crazy thoughts going on, but it's monotonous enough to put me to sleep. Just fyi :)


  9. You must take after your mother...from what I hear, that woman is always on the go! It's not a bad thing...she's pretty awesome!

  10. I love this post - I read a lot of blogs and yours is one of my favorites. It is refreshing to see someone share their real life not their polished, perfect life they edit for their blog. You share your real struggles with motherhood, being a wife and juggling your own wants and needs. I am a working mother and wife and feel a lot of the same things you write about on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing and helping me feel not-so-alone.

    Your daughter and son are beautiful! My daughter, Marin, is only a few months younger than Evelyn and also a baldy. :) Her hair is growing more in the last few months, slowly but surely. Keep writing; I really enjoy visiting and reading.

  11. I tried to do the same thing today. I tried desperately to even just lay on the sofa and let myself do nothing. I lasted about two minutes. Then I thought... okay let me pick up the house a bit. I will feel better and be able to relax if everything is at least semi-tidy. So I cleaned. Then I tried again and wouldn't you know it... as soon as I sat down to try again my babies woke up. Oh the life of a mother... One day though, I know I will miss it...

  12. The husband and I have a plan to go to Red Lobster and eat coconut shrimp and then get fake tans when we get sick of the snow. In the meantime, attending a Luau tomorrow shall suffice. :) Hehe.

    You need a notebook next to every place to sleep to write down reminders of all the thoughts in your head so you can sleep. SLEEP IS AMAZING. And you are amazing. Therefore, you deserve sleep.

  13. I totally and completely get what you are saying. I love sleep - I mean LOVE it and when I can't rest it drives me nuts.
    I fall asleep on the sofa and then head to bed and its like the wheels don't stop turning.
    I am sending you wishes for good rest!

  14. And I know you already saw the blog post of mine where I talked about this, but let me just say again, giving your brain some time off TOTALLY helps. If you can mentally delegate something to another time, even "do not even think about any decorating or DIY stuff until February," frees up that part of your brain. It is like instant brain relief, writing things down to put off, I'm not kidding. Like the way you feel when you've written a very detailed to do list, and you no longer are trying to remind yourself not to forget that one random thing.

    Hope you managed a little rest!!

  15. Oh, thank you for sharing this and being honest!! I have the hardest time turning off my brain and it's now gotten to the point where I grind my teeth while sleeping. My little one is over a year old and still doesn't sleep through the night. I can't remember the last time I got a full 8 hours. That plant is very pretty! You're right, brighter days ARE ahead :)