I originally wrote this post last week and it was not a perky one. In my original confession, I lamented about how tough it is to have two kids. It is utterly exhausting on all fronts - physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. My post expanded upon Evelyn's increasingly fierce defiance, Warner's astounding ability to wake up right as I put Evelyn down for her nap, leaving me with zero personal time in the day; I wrote of my feelings of inadequacy and emotional confliction. The hardest part for me is making sure I am giving each of my children the love and attention they need and deserve. It's not that my love is unplentiful,
but rather I have too much love and too little time to give it. This is very emotional for me. I wish I could spend more time with Warner, getting to know this little personality that is blossoming more and more every day. I wish I could give Evelyn more of my undivided attention that she is so desperately craving these days. I wish at night I didn't vent to Jared about all the things that were wrong with my day rather than the things that were right. So I took the opportunity this weekend with him being gone, knowing that it would be a long 3 days with no break, to really find the good in each day. And you know what, there was a lot of good. A LOT. I really grew to love these kids of mine ten fold.
So this post today is coming from a good place. A happy place. Two kids is honestly the hardest thing I have ever done, but it is oh so sweet. It is golden. It is such a privilege to have such individual, independent, extraordinary, joyful, energetic souls under my care.
That's the raw truth, folks.
i totally agree! i've been feeling the exact same way with not having enough time to show/give my love to all three of my littles. i feel like i had my routine with the twins down pat and now that little ezra is here, everything is a huge adjustment. he takes FOREVER to nurse (like 45 minutes, not including burping and changing), so i feel like i hardly ever get to spend any (quality) time with the twins. i've taken some cute photos of ezra, but not nearly as much as i'd like and he's already a MONTH old! sigh. here's to learning :)
ReplyDeleteuh, I always feel so guilty that I don't have 50 gabillion photos of Warner! With Evelyn I think I averaged 20 photos a day {i kid, but probably pretty close!} and Warner just makes it on instagram :)
DeleteI love your honesty! Thanks for sharing the good and the tough parts of being a mama of two littles. xo
ReplyDeleteThanks Andrea! I try my best to be real on here and that means sharing the good and tough times :)
DeleteI love this post. It's something I have thought a lot about. If we are able to have another little one join our family, I have wondered how I will be able to manage it all. But it is something I yearn for so much. What a fantastic blessing it is to have a sibling! I hope and pray that my little boy can have that someday. I can imagine that it is so difficult to have your attention so divided between two little sweethearts. I bet it will be such an exciting time when they are a bit older and able to share a sweet relationship of their own. Thanks for sharing about the good AND the kinda hard times.
ReplyDeleteahh your little men are so adorable!! what a precious smile in one of those photos
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, your little ones are so cute! I'm in love with that fox hat! :)
ReplyDeleteHey Kendra,
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting my blog today! Sleep sacks are so great...they help my little one sleep longer. I am loving your blog. My husband and I are high school sweethearts too :)
I love this post, Kendra.
ReplyDeleteI often hesitate to share posts about the tough side of motherhood. I don't want to seem ungrateful, or like being a mama is all bad, but I also want to be honest! So I appreciate you sharing the evolution of this post, and where it took you as a mother.
We really want another babe to our family, so I'm sending a big hug your way, and I'm going to be sure to focus on giving Miss Maile every ounce of attention that she deserves!
This post scares me a little bit because I am a little nervous to have a second! but I really wanted another baby and I think your right- it's worth it.
ReplyDeletewhat a sweet post...i've already got anxiety just thinking about #2 arriving. thanks for the honest perspective...i know we definitely want more children, but the balancing act between the two could definitely be a struggle.
ReplyDeletesuper impressed. i've just finished 12 weeks with my one tiny. i can't imagine having two yet! cudos to you!
ReplyDeletesocal mama
bri
Congrats on your little one!
DeleteI can totally relate. Two really threw me for a loop and I felt like I was in survival mode for months upon months! Keep looking for the good and having a positive attitude. Both will carry you a long ways!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Paige!
DeleteI just found your blog and love this post! I just had my second two months ago too and there are days where i wonder what the heck i got myself in too! And other days where everything just falls into place.
ReplyDeletesuch cute kiddos you have!! i know how hard it can be with 2 also! but i wouldn't have it any other way. :) i always try to look for the good during bad and good days too, it helps get through the long days.
ReplyDeleteYour raw honesty is inspiring. My husband and I don't have children yet, but I'm sure your truthfulness helped someone today!
ReplyDeletethehartungs.blogspot.ca
omg that mouse hat is TOO CUTE! love it!
ReplyDeleteLovely post! I have similar feelings with just one kid.... can't imagine what life will be like with two but (oh) do i look forward to it!
ReplyDeleteThis equally excites me and terrifies me, as my number two is coming in less than 2 months! I have a feeling I will be clinging to the fact that lots of people do this...it really is possible :) Thanks for your honesty, Kendra!! :)
ReplyDeletegorgeous family!
ReplyDeletesuch happy photos
xo the egg out west.
Kendra my sweet friend,
ReplyDeleteI could go on and on here, you know I could, but I will just say this:
Transitioning from one to two is commonly felt as the hardest, it was for me and I see it was for some readers above. Both children, babies really, are still very needy for you and they don't play well together yet. But, alas, there will come a moment when you realize your children are playing, occupying themselves, or more realistically Warner will be getting dragged around by sissy and it's going to be AWESOME!!!!
For now, it's okay that there is less attention that can be given fully to each of them. Really, you will get into a routine where you start to notice the moments that are best spent giving individual time and then that will change and another routine will be established. And so is the life of parents. Ebbs and flows, once a routine then changing routines....I am thinking of you and hear you on this. You're a great mom, sending my love,
Shauna xoxoxoxox
Apperantly I can't make any comments short. Oh well.... :)
ReplyDeleteWow does this sound like something I could have written myself. I feel for you sister... I'm right there with you. And I admire you. Thank you for your words and your attitude. I needed a little reminder this morning.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a great mom! Thank you for writing about both the blessings and the tough stuff. When Dave and I think about the daunting possibilities of having a second while our fiesty toddler is wreaking havoc on our condo, lives, etc., I sometimes say "I don't get it. Kendra makes it look so easy!" Rest assured that you're giving them both exactly what they need, and don't doubt yoruself!
ReplyDeletei love this troofness. :) i can only imagine how crazy two will be when the time comes...and im aiming for 18-20 months apart so its sooner than i think, im sure. one is hard enough! such an adjustment. but i can tell that you're doing an amazing job and um, babywearing two at a time!? holler. holl-ER. xoxo
ReplyDeleteSweet friend I love your honesty and I love how you were determined to see the good in a long three day weekend and I love how your heart was able to have a different perspective. Praying those nap times sync up soon xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI love your honesty. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like with two, one keeps my hands full enough. I've heard that it gets better later on once they can entertain each other ;) hold out for that day girlfriend!
ReplyDelete