CHEAP-O

Last Sunday Jared and I received a prize in the mail. Even though it was junk mail-looking, I decided to open it regardless. It was a $50 gift card to Flemings Steakhouse. I didn't get too excited, there had to be a catch. [Last week we also received a voucher for a free cruise for 2, but the catch was that you had to be 30 or older - not really much of a catch, we just happen to not be that old.] So I held on to it. Later that night I pulled up the website, entered the code on the back and it asked for a reservation date. I put us in for 6:30 on Saturday May 15th at LA Live. Done! Jared and I were rather stoked that we received this free $50 gift card, but still being a bit leery, we called and they confirmed it was legit. So yesterday afternoon we saved our appetites for our big meal! We looked up their menu before going. The prices weren't on the website, but after reading some reviews on YELP, we determined the average meal was between $18-$25 - perfectly covered by the gift card!

So we arrived at Flemings on time and we were seated promptly. Then the feeling of unbelongingness sunk in. The hostess asked us if we wanted black napkins. Uh, my mind was confused so I naively asked why would we want black napkins in comparison to the white ones already on the table? She said something, but I didnt hear so it was best that I just took it to avoid looking like a fool. Jared didnt hear what she said either, but he took one as well. After she left, we together concluded that the black napkins must be for the dark meats? In case you spill dark meat juice on you?? Oh well, that was done with.

We opened our menus. My stomach turned. The CHEAPEST entree was $25.50! And that did not include a side, that was strictly the meat. I think we both started to sweat a bit. We discussed what we would do if this $50 gift card didn't work, how Jared would complain to the manager and tell them there was NO WAY we could afford this meal and they would have to accept the $50 redeemable card. So next the waitress came. She asked if we wanted any wine. NO. First sign to her that we were cheap. Were we ready to order? Yes. Jared got the Pork Chops while I went with the LITE filet mignon, the ONLY dish that came with a side of mashed potatoes. We ordered one side of macaroni and cheese for $9.50! The waitress asked if we wanted a veggie or side salad with our orders? Nope! Second sign that we were cheap - no additional sides. We had a laugh at how unhealthy our meals were. No vegetables. Nothing but pure meat, potatoes and mac and cheese. Not to mention that by this time we had already downed 2 loaves of bread and 2 cream cheese spreads they kept refilling. We were STARVING.

While we were waiting, another table got their meal. I saw this lady with the smallest portion of meat. I scoffed at Jared about the small portion size. He looked at me like I was crazy, and then told me my meat was going to smaller than that. WHY, I asked. "Did you not see what you ordered? You ordered the LITE PETITE filet mignon! That's the smallest filet there is!"..."Oh," i replied. "I thought LITE meant it was the least FATTY of all the meats." Jared then informed me that in beef, lite means poundage, not fattage. To that I responded "Oh no, i'm going to be so hungry!" We would so much rather have been at Pancho's Tacos where we can get a wet burrito for $5.25 and leave feeling satisfied physically and financially.

After 20 min, our food arrived. Jared's pork chop was a decent size. My filet mignon? I think it had a 3 inch diameter. SO DINKY! And the side of potatoes? 3 spoonfuls!! I was in misery. Atleast the filet was exceptional. The mac and cheese was crusty and dry. The time came for the dessert menu, to which we declined - third sign of cheap. We asked for our bill. $73.50! Can you believe that?! We were outraged! I can't believe people pay full price for this stuff! Jared whipped out the $50 gift card. We reasoned that Fleming's probably did not get the result they wanted by sending us the voucher. Flemings desired result: for us to spend more money on alcohol or full entree with side. Our desired result: to get 2 meals for free. Jared and I were rolling with laughter when we put that gift card in the black credit card booklet. We have to be the biggest cheap-os in Flemings history. When the waitress came to pick up the check, I had to break it to her. I told her "You're going to find out how cheap we are when you open that book!" She laughed, opened it up, and told us that was fine. It's part of the economic times, she said. Wow, did that make us feel better! She came back with a box of chocolates for Jared's upcoming birthday. We ended on a good note with Flemings. We only paid $20 for both a filet mignon and a pork chop. However, we will not be coming back, no matter how many free cards we receive! Ok, maybe we'll be back if we receive 2 or more free $50 gift cards.