How deep is your love?


Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Yesterday morning I was ushering Evelyn out of the tub when she broke out in hysterical tears. When I asked her what was wrong she just sputtered out "ohh nooooo!" between sobs and pointed down to the ground. I quickly glanced down and tried to assess what might have caused such an outburst. There was nothing there. Absolutely nothing. "Ummm.. is the floor cold on your feet?" No response. So I move on to the lotioning and dressing of our bath time routine. Again, another sob. "ohhh noooo!"as I start rubbing lotion over her body. "Did you want to do it?" I asked. "Yes!" she brokenly replied. So I put a dab of lotion for her to rub in on her palm. She just stood there pouring buckets of tears. After giving her a chance to lotion herself and her lack of effort, I continued to lotion her, which resulted in more tears. By the time we finally got her dressed, Warner was now begging for attention. He had been so patient waiting there while I doctored up sister, so I bent down to pick him up. Another wail came from Evelyn that she wanted to be held. After moments of scurrying around the bathroom trying to clean up while holding a baby and having another attached to my leg, I thought it might be for the best for me to pick up Evelyn too and give her some love. And then snap a photo.

Backstory behind that morning: The previous day Evelyn had a run in with the stomach bug. It was my first time cleaning up throw up. The smell of that stuff, man. It will haunt you for days! So yesterday was a very sensitive day for her as she recooperated. As the day progressed and I thought she was on the mend, she began having problems on the other end of things and her diapers were, well, runny.... The poor girl was so confused as to what was going on, and I felt so terrible. The only thing I could do was hold her when she needed it. And so if she needed me at the exact moment that Warner needed me, gosh darn it I was going to balance those two kiddos in my arms at the same time, look up in the mirror and just laugh. Laugh because at that moment I was honestly experiencing pure joy. Joy in a moment like that? Yes. It might have been a small thing to carry them both, but to me and my overdramatic heart, it was very metaphorical to embrace them both at that moment and know that I will always be their comforting arm to hold them up when times are tough, even if that means sacrificing my upperbody strength and the possibility that I might get barfed on, that's ok.  Momma's got yo back, Ev. And Warner, if you just need a good thick braid to tug on, I can sacrifice my hair to your grip every now and then. And if we need pedialyte at 11pm, you best know your daddy will run to cvs and pick you some up some strawberry deliciousness flava because he loves his babies...and me, because he let me stay in the warmth of the bed while he wrestled with the cold night chill. (sidenote: while Jared was gone getting the pedialyte I was on my phone googling dehydration in toddlers and reading horror death stories of the plague and thought what would I do if I ever lost one of my kids to anything. If it happens to other families, aren't we just in the same pool as everyone else in terms of probability? Why happen to someone else and not us? Scary thoughts, scary thoughts.)

Our love for you is deep, kids. Very deep. I am in awe at how much it grows each day. And apparently it grows abundantly during times of throw up and diarrhea. Get better, Evy Rae! Although I am enjoying your mellowness, to be honest. 

12 comments:

  1. Awww, glad you were able to comfort them both at once. Poor girl, I hope she's feeling better today!

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  2. Oh your poor girl it is terrible to feel sick, as for cleaning up throw up well I have cleaned it up more a lot over the years..........I have even got out of my bed and driven 20minutes to clean it up in the middle of the night......don't belive me then go here and have a read............lol
    http://jo-annemotherandnanna.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/feeling-sore-after-fall.html

    Oh I came over from Bonnie's blog.............

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  3. so sweet! and girl, I learned in my first few weeks of mommahood to NEVER EVER GOOGLE ANYTHING remotely related to the well-being of your child. It will just scare you to death!!!

    I hope little Miss Ev is on the mend!

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  4. I love this! There are days when you just have to hold both babies in your arms and let them love on you. You couldn't have described it any better! I found you on The Life of Bon and so glad I did. You guys are a dime a dozen!

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  5. sweet friend I love your mamas heart. I love how Warner is just staring up at his mama with just love in his eyes and how evelyn is clinging onto you. You have such a deep love for both your kids and I know they feel it to the very core of their being. Praying Evelyn feels better soon. After Judah throws up he always is super sensitive and feels super bad about it afterwards repeating in between sobs "I sorry I sorry mama".
    love you

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  6. I know exactly how that all feels! I've spent the first part of this week taking steamy midnight showers with my 7 month old trying to clear his head of snot. Two kids is crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

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  7. Oh sha baby!! I will confess... I do love when my little toddler, who so often doesn't want anything from me, needs his mama to just hold him. Usually those times are only when he is hurting or devastated about something which is sad, but I love the fact that it is me that he looks for. I hope little Evelyn feels better soon and prayers that little Warner won't get it! Oh that would be so sad... poor babies... sick babies are the worst!

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  8. This morning my little guy was giving me a hard time. He insisted on being picked up, but I needed to get ready for work. I was starting to get just a little frustrated and then, not kidding, I remembered this post and the picture of you with TWO boos in your arms, so I picked him up -- and brushed my teeth! =)

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  9. It must have been a difficult day for you..hang in there mother! I cannot imagine looking after 2 young kids. I've only have 1 boy and boy, it's tough already. So kudos to you. U're a brave and great mum for being so patient with your young children. :))

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  10. oh man, what a mom you are! keep up that attitude of gratitude when times get rough (and stinky! ew.)

    xoxo
    Jamey

    www.wearesimplyanimated.com

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  11. Kendra, I know how you feel. I am at my happiest when I can just forget myself and help my children even if it means both my hands, my mind, whatever. I admire that you feel this way so early on as a mother. I did not. I was very put out as a young mother and I only wish I were more like you as a young mother. At least I saw the light and my heart has changed so much with regard to serving and just being there for my children. You are doing a great job.

    Love,

    Shauna xo

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