How deep is your love?

Yesterday morning I was ushering Evelyn out of the tub when she broke out in hysterical tears. When I asked her what was wrong she just sputtered out "ohh nooooo!" between sobs and pointed down to the ground. I quickly glanced down and tried to assess what might have caused such an outburst. There was nothing there. Absolutely nothing. "Ummm.. is the floor cold on your feet?" No response. So I move on to the lotioning and dressing of our bath time routine. Again, another sob. "ohhh noooo!"as I start rubbing lotion over her body. "Did you want to do it?" I asked. "Yes!" she brokenly replied. So I put a dab of lotion for her to rub in on her palm. She just stood there pouring buckets of tears. After giving her a chance to lotion herself and her lack of effort, I continued to lotion her, which resulted in more tears. By the time we finally got her dressed, Warner was now begging for attention. He had been so patient waiting there while I doctored up sister, so I bent down to pick him up. Another wail came from Evelyn that she wanted to be held. After moments of scurrying around the bathroom trying to clean up while holding a baby and having another attached to my leg, I thought it might be for the best for me to pick up Evelyn too and give her some love. And then snap a photo.

Backstory behind that morning: The previous day Evelyn had a run in with the stomach bug. It was my first time cleaning up throw up. The smell of that stuff, man. It will haunt you for days! So yesterday was a very sensitive day for her as she recooperated. As the day progressed and I thought she was on the mend, she began having problems on the other end of things and her diapers were, well, runny.... The poor girl was so confused as to what was going on, and I felt so terrible. The only thing I could do was hold her when she needed it. And so if she needed me at the exact moment that Warner needed me, gosh darn it I was going to balance those two kiddos in my arms at the same time, look up in the mirror and just laugh. Laugh because at that moment I was honestly experiencing pure joy. Joy in a moment like that? Yes. It might have been a small thing to carry them both, but to me and my overdramatic heart, it was very metaphorical to embrace them both at that moment and know that I will always be their comforting arm to hold them up when times are tough, even if that means sacrificing my upperbody strength and the possibility that I might get barfed on, that's ok.  Momma's got yo back, Ev. And Warner, if you just need a good thick braid to tug on, I can sacrifice my hair to your grip every now and then. And if we need pedialyte at 11pm, you best know your daddy will run to cvs and pick you some up some strawberry deliciousness flava because he loves his babies...and me, because he let me stay in the warmth of the bed while he wrestled with the cold night chill. (sidenote: while Jared was gone getting the pedialyte I was on my phone googling dehydration in toddlers and reading horror death stories of the plague and thought what would I do if I ever lost one of my kids to anything. If it happens to other families, aren't we just in the same pool as everyone else in terms of probability? Why happen to someone else and not us? Scary thoughts, scary thoughts.)

Our love for you is deep, kids. Very deep. I am in awe at how much it grows each day. And apparently it grows abundantly during times of throw up and diarrhea. Get better, Evy Rae! Although I am enjoying your mellowness, to be honest.