thoughts at 20 weeks
Monday, April 30, 2012
When I was pregnant with Evelyn, every feeling was new. I waited every week for those pregnancy newsletters to arrive in my inbox telling me that my child was now the length of a banana and weighed almost a pound. I read pregnancy and delivery books and was so intrigued with what my body was/would be going through. I lived for every kick and hiccup that I felt in the womb. This second time around, I have a decent idea of what I should be experiencing, no newsletters are coming to my inbox, and rather than sitting at my work desk all day with time to spare to daydream about this baby I would hold in my arms, I am now rocking my first baby thinking I'm rather scared at the possibility of loving another child this much. I feel like I've given all I have and more to Evelyn willingly. I love my days with just she and I. I feel like I can conquer anything in this world with my little sidekick beside me. It's amazing how someone so small can mold me into such a bigger person.
Is it possible to love more than one child? I know it is. I'm certain of it. I know when I hold this child in my arms those same feelings of overwhelming love, gratitude and humility will come over me just as they did with Evelyn. And for that I am astounded at the miracle of love and bonding between a mother and baby.
I am so thrilled this afternoon to find out the gender! I feel like that fact will allow my heart to connect on such a deeper level. That, and the fact that baby kicks and rolls have really been lively this week! The best part of the weekend was lying on the couch and Jared feeling the baby kick for the first time. Those moments are priceless. Those nudges make it a reality that soon our family of three will be a family of four. The more the merrier, right? :)