I finally figured out a way where Evelyn will let me hold her and rock her. The downside is it involves her having a nightmare. Last Friday night she screamed out "mama! mama!" through her tears at about 11pm. I ran in and swooped her up, lovingly shushing her and putting her head on my shoulder. I could feel her body relax as she calmed down with my embrace and within seconds she was back to the serenity of her sleep. I could have stood there and rocked her forever. The moment seemed so rare that I took the time to remember everything, burning the moment into my heart. I couldn't believe how long she was, how much she had grown. Of course I hold her every day, but I hadn't held her and craddled her in the silence of the night in probably a year. She is not a cuddler and never sits still for longer than a second. So to have her in my arms again in such a fragile dependent state reminded me that this growing girl will always be my baby. Whether she's 23 months or 23 years, I hope whenever she is scared she will cry out "mama" and know that I will race to hold her.
I still can't believe in 6 weeks she'll be two years old! Mind blower!