motherhood.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Motherhood is hard. H-A-R-D. I know everything isn't always cupcakes and roses, but for the most part life is pretty dang good and I like to celebrate that joy on this blog because joy is what life is all about. But I would also be unwise if I did not give motherhood it's proper explication.

I am a busy-body, go-getter, list-maker, organizer, strong woman. Motherhood has kinda undone all of those things for me. Well, just toned them down a bit. I've realized that I will be busy ALL THE TIME, but not with things that I would necessarily like to busy with. For instance, last night I wanted to be busy making homemade breadsticks, complete with warm insides and buttery-garlic-cheesy outsides, but instead I was spotting up spaghetti sauce from the carpet after Ev threw it overboard in disapproval.

I love conquering things, and in the past it's been stuff like writing a thesis paper, conjuring up marketing ads and designing websites. Now I feel like I've accomplished something when I make it to the post office to mail something off after it's been sitting there for a week, clip Ev's toe nails and unload the dishwasher.

It's not that I have become lazy since being a stay at home mom. All the more opposite. I am occupied now by things beyond materialism and am working on raising a very independent soul. I'm learning that a one-year old has a personality that she is unleashing on me that is very different from the docile baby that I've been used to for the past 12 months. I have become completely driven by this little person that is my everything and sometimes she can even drive away my sanity. Would you believe it if I said our little Evy Rae is a tantrum thrower? I know, it's hard to believe. The past 2 weeks have been grueling. I feel like she's a sargeant putting me through Navy Seal training {which is super hard. Read this book. It's fascinating}. Between teething, shots, and transforming in to a toddler, we have seen many food fights, tears, sleepless nights and complete exhaustion on both ends.

Again, motherhood is H-A-R-D. So, so hard. And I say that not out of regret, resentment or weakness. I say that out of humility, compassion, and courage. Nothing is more painstakingly rewarding than rearing a child and nothing brings more joy. I guess we're just in a time of transition.
{first mother's day - may 2011}

44 comments:

  1. I think you described motherhood in the most beautiful way. It is hard. I'll admit it. But there are so many joys along the way. Motherhood refines us into the women we can become.

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  2. It's worth repeating again... Motherhood is HARD!

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  3. It's one of the only jobs that is SO hard, yet we keep at it because the joys do outweigh the hard days. I think God designed it that way so that when we have hard days, we remember the little miracle that He has entrusted us to care for. :)

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  4. lovely post, although I nevr had children, i have looked after children for many people in the past and while i enjoyed it, i was always, always, glad when the time came to hand them back! and i like my sleep too much :)

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  5. I love these honest, down-to-earth posts, that make these lives we read about real and relatable. Thank you.

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  6. Beautiful post by a beautiful momma :)

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  7. It's a seriously hard job. In some ways I miss being a career woman-I had a job I loved and was completely confident in my abilities. Motherhood is a different kind of gig. You don't get your ego stroked nearly as frequently, you don't often see immediate benefits for the things you are doing, and a lot of what you do goes unappreciated. BUT-I wouldn't trade it for anything. In those little moments where your child learns a new word, or exercises their sense of humor, or asserts their independence, you realize how much of an impact you are having on them.

    Sorry for the book. I guess what it boils down to is, I hear ya. Loud and clear.

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  8. great post. with our 7 week old little girl I would love to convince myself that it will get easier...however, I know that is such a naive way of thinking and as she grows it will become even more difficult, but also even more rewarding!

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  9. Awesome post. You are a wonderful mother.
    P.S. I hear ya on the tantrums. My 14mo old is in rare form this week :)

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  10. Beautiful post. All of this is so true and relevant for me right now. My one year old daughter just recently started throwing tantrums, insisting that she go outside (and not comprehending, um, that it is cold, dark or raining). Everything has suddenly changed, again. It helps me to know that others have similar circumstances and issues, and that none of it makes us bad mothers or lazy people. :)

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  11. i love that you are so raw here.
    and thank you for keeping it real :) im not a mother yet, but this makes me feel a little more prepared for that step :)
    and your little one is SUPER cute!

    by the way girly, im doing my very first blog link-up! if you would like to join :) would love to have your wisdom posted :)

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  12. Love this post! As a very soon to be mother, alot of the time is spent thinking about the good and cute moments coming in the future. Nice to read this and have the reality check that although there are many of those moments, it's not all roses. It will be hard. Great post!

    Bennett Love

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  13. yes, motherhood does tone down your life but all in a good way. i feel that sometimes you can't necessarily be as extreme as you used to. great words.

    Lindsay

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  14. Absolutely beautifully written Kendra. I completely agree. It's the hardest job in the world, but also the most amazing. Thanks for sharing : )

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  15. Such a true story! I don't think people understand the challenges of being a stay at home mom and I am glad you gave some wonderful insights here. Thanks for sharing!

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  16. YES! You said it so perfectly!

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  17. what a nice post you wrote, I bet it is super hard!!!

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  18. I love your honesty, thank you.

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  19. i really enjoy reading your blog! great post.

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  20. Nicely done! Thankfully, the good times ALWAYS outweigh the bad :)

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  21. PS. I'm not sure if anyone told you, but girls hit the "terrible two's" phase early.

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  22. Aww this is so precious! As long as you're positive about the transition, that's the main thing. :)

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  23. This is a lovely post and exactly how I am feeling having a one year old myself. It is hard to make that transition period- I get stuck between wanting to work and also wanting to be a Mummy and spend time. I am hoping we will get the balance right soon. x

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  24. Well said...and so very true. And yes, so, so, so worth it. :-)

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  25. This is how every mother feels and so very hard to understand unless you are a mother going through it for the very first time. Of late I went in search of how a mom can do everything, career, wife, mom, nurse, maid, cook, etc. I watched the movie, "How Does She Do It," and realized that doing everything isn't possible. We all have our hard moments when it comes to motherhood. Nobody's perfect. But it's sooooo worth it. =)
    I would love for you to get in on my February photo-a-day challenge. You have great perspective! olearyva.blogspot.com

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  26. Hello! I'm so glad you stopped by my blog and that you left a comment and my favorite part was that you could relate to what I had to say. I've perused your blog and I adore it. I agree about mommy-hood and how it's hard and you're always busy but not with what you want to be doing but you do it anyways because you love being a mommy. Yay for being a mommy!

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  27. You are learning the epitome of self-sacrifice.

    Very introspective, and well written! It's good to become "undone" in a sense, it keeps you learning and growing and builds charechter!

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  28. Seriously has to be one of the hardest jobs ever! I have a two year old who has been...well, two and a boy, bouncing off the walls from the second he wakes up to the second he's asleep. Also a 7 mo old who is yet to sleep through the night, but is so happy and giggly during the day. It's hard, but in the end, I wouldn't want to be doing anything else...most days:)

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  29. Thank you so much for posting this! I read it yesterday and have thought about it a lot ever since. It's so nice to feel like you aren't alone in this motherhood thing!

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  30. Thank you for your honesty! If I can say, it is really nice to see what may lie just a few months down the road for us :) Molly has been a super easy baby as well. But even with the hard times, I have to agree that the joy outweighs it all :)

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  31. soooo true. it's hard to be forced to be way less task oriented than you used to. and just allowing things to... not get done.

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  32. Wonderful candidly honest post!! You are right, motherhood is hard and it definitely shakes things up that's for sure! My first is 5 1/2 and with #2 on the way she is going to rock our world! I keep reminding myself that it gets easier as they move through each new stage. :)

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  33. I agree with everything in this wonderful, honest post! Thank you for writing about motherhood not always been sunshine and daisy's, cause its not! It is hard at times. No matter what age their at, there can always be a challenge. Im right there with you when you say "you feel accomplished when you make it to the post office, clip their nails, and unload the dishwasher". Cause that's how it is. New priorities, and an independent little girl to raise keeps you busy in ways you could never imagine {unless you've been there or doing it now}. Great post!

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  34. HEY.. very well said.. this story i read the other day its to the mother with only one child! its great! http://www.ncregister.com/blog/to-the-mother-with-only-one-child
    motherhood is HARD.. haha worth it yes but i guess we become a true woman once we enter the world of motherhood?

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  35. i love this post. you're doing a wonderful job! she loves you so much!

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  36. I've definitely seen how motherhood affects people...and it's okay. There are more important things all of a sudden than perfect cooking and everything being put away all the time! :)

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  37. Lovely post, and very well written! Motherhood is hard, but it is a lot more rewarding than I ever imagined it before I became a mother!!

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  38. I hear ya. It is beautifully hard. My older one is going through some sass and backtalk. She's still such a beautiful soul & I've chosen to every morning hug her, snuggle with her and tell her how much I love her. We listen to lots of music and I make lists too. But my lists are mommy lists, a bit different from the old ones. :-) Thanks for sharing.

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  39. I so agree with you! My daughter is my everything but my patience can sure be tested. Her father and I are both very stubborn people and wouldn't you know it, she is beginning to show that too! We no longer have a docile baby, she is very clear in making her likes and dislikes heard! Sometimes it is hard not to feel like your old self has been a bit lost because of the new focus of motherhood, but boy does my daughter make it so worth it! I am a very crafty, DIY type and it took me over six months to make time to recover my dining room chairs. But the thing is, I did it! Eventually...:)

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  40. Very well put. I have friends that want me to help "prepare" them for what they are in for as they approach the birth of their first. I always say, "I love you, but I can't prepare you." Really, it's a journey and it's close up and personal. When you say it's H-A-R-D, I hear you. Being a mother pulls and bends emotions you never knew were there. It brings out a person in you, you may not have was there, and these are all great things to help us shape our characters in becoming the best we can-and shape it will...that is motherhood of course. Take care, I don't always comment but I do follow and I love your words and pictures.

    Shauna

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  41. I need to read before I submit, obviously I meant "up close and personal." Hahaha. Take care.

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