for the love of rap

Jared and I are white folk, but we do appreciate the finer things of other ethnicities, such as rap music. Jared in particular is drawn to the poetic abilities of certain rappers, I kid you not. I think he about fell off his chair with Kanye's "tell ya girl like doritos thats not your [nacho] cheese." Yes, my husband is that classy. So the other day when he quoted some lyric and I questioned "What the crap was that," I knew that it was time to get him this book. I wanted to give it to him for Christmas, but they were sold out at 2 bookstores, so I held off until Valentines.

We spent a good portion of the afternoon educating ourselves on certain lyrics, so as to better appreciate the creativity involved in the rap industry. Be enlightened, won't you?

LYRIC: HOCKEY PLAYERS PAGIN' ME TO PRACTICE ON MY WRIST

White explanation: I have so much diamond jewelry covering the end of my arm nearmy hand that individuals who enjoy a certain cold weather contact sport are contacting me on my outdated alphanumeric communication device, having confused my bracelet for an ice rink they would like to use to improve their athletic abilities. 

We've learned a lot from this helpful compilation. You're intrigued now, are you? You want one more?

LYRIC: SWIMMING IN THE MONEY, COME AND FIND ME, NEMO

Explanation: It is possible that you could have so much money that there would be nowhere practical to store it all and eventually every room of your house would be filled with paper currency. Anyone who stopped by to visit you in this virtual ocean of money would have as much trouble finding you as an animated talking cartoon fish father had finding his animated talking cartoon fish son.

On another note, today when I was on MarthaStewart.com trying to find a decadent dessert I could make for Valentines Day, I got sidetracked by a link that said "craft ideas for restless kids." After clicking through a couple, I realized that I am not a kid, I'm just restless. Can't Martha make "craft ideas for restless mother!?!" I'm such a busy body and this staying at home thing is kinda cramping my style. What is a nursing mother of a 2 1/2 week old supposed to do all day?