cosmically orphaned

Sunday, April 27, 2014

I was enriched today during Sacrament Meeting, which is so rare these days, and not because of the message of the speakers but because I am often distracted by two kids climbing off and on my lap, putting together puzzles, making sure one kid doesn't eat the crayons, picking up cheerio snack crumbs, and all other things that come with taking two toddlers to an hour silent meeting. But today Evelyn sat on Jared's lap, and Warner laid his head on my shoulder a good portion of the meeting and I could actually listen. The speaker was wonderful, and gave a very insightful talk on the importance of music in religion, and the sacred nature of which we can offer prayers to God via a hymn. He then gave this quote that just struck me to the bone, which I think is so beautiful and truly puts into words how I often feeling about my God.

"I get impatient with dogma and dictum, but somewhere way inside me and way beyond impatience or indifference there is that insistent, infernal, so help me, sacred singing - All is well, All is well. My own church, inhabited by my own people - I would be cosmically orphaned without it." Emma Lou Thayne

I would be cosmically orphaned without it - that has been ringing in my heart over the past hours. How true that statement is. Last year, if you recall, I had a bit of a tussle with my faith in God. Less than a year later, my heart and circumstance stands in a different place - in a better place, in a more humble place, more grateful, more rejoiceful place. I, too, can find my heart singing "all is well, all is well." I tried putting faith on the backburner for a bit, and I did feel lost. There is nothing worth abandoning God for. Truly without my religion I would be cosmically orphaned, lost in this vast universe without purpose, love, direction, and true joy. God is good.

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