teenage love dreams and we're having another baby

The other night I couldn't sleep. I was tossing and turning, which is quite regular for me, unfortunately. A lot of things have been weighing on my mind, namely how to run a small business (which branches off into worrying about the quality of my work - is it worth what people are paying, how to make sure the IRS doesn't come after me, quickening production, hiring employees), attempting to balance running said business and my number one job of being a mom (which branches off into anxiety about how much time I am spending with each one of them everyday, was I on my phone too much around them, did I stimulate their creativity enough, am I too rigid when it comes to discipline, trying to let some things roll off my back, questioning Evelyn's educational level and thinking of a preschool curriculum that will work for for us), to yet again our family's future and Jared's career (yes, Jared was blessed with a great job at the beginning of the year, but some other even greater opportunities have opened up that have us on the fence of what to do), to church callings and feeling like I'm falling short of being a Christ-like example, to lastly just feeling overwhelmed by all this stuff and thinking "will life ever calm down?"

In my tossing I turned to my left side, and my eyes fell upon the other person in my bed who was so calmly sleeping. I laugh every time I watch Jared sleep because he sleeps like a super model, always perfectly positioned with arms up, which make his muscles look like they are flexed, and pouty lips. There is no one who looks better when they sleep than him. Annnywayy, too mushy? I'm in the moment of recounting my exact thoughts, so that all had to be included to set the mood. I was sleeping next to a gorgeous man, which brought a smile to my face, and I felt very lucky. My mind then left all the troubles that it was previously occupied by and drifted back to a summer June night just about 6 years ago. Jared and I had gone out with some friends and it was late into the evening, or I guess early into the morning at that point. Jared was my ride home ( I cleverly planned that one), so we were parked outside my house. We talked for a good 45 minutes in his car, and I thought I had an inkling that he just miiiiight kiss me, so i stayed in there as long as I could until I reached a point where I realized I must have been wrong, unbuckled my seat belt and said I was heading in. As I looked at him and said bye, I just remember him leaping forward and giving me a big smackaroo. My heart felt like it was going to explode and the rest is history.

Imagine this all playing out like a movie scene or something where the screen flashes white and all of the sudden you are brought back to the present moment, because that's just how it happened. I was lying there in bed, having those young love emotions just stirred up in my heart and brought back to the surface, when I was snapped back to real life gazing at this man who I have now built my life's foundation with, thinking how lucky we are to have our story. And how giddy and humorous I find it that we started out as teens and now we have not just one, not just two, but THREE children that are ours. I've put it out there on all my social media outlets but here that i'm pregnant with baby numero tres coming this September! We are excited, albeit, intimidated about the prospect of having three littles three years and younger, but we are feeling rather blessed that this third child will indeed be joining our family. And now child number two is tugging on me, so I guess I'll end here. What was the point of this post? I suppose the most significant thing is to document here that we have a third child on the way, and that I still have gushy teenage feelings for my husband, yet my mind is very consumed with adult things. Sure. That was the point.

2 month catch up!

Gah, I've clicked over to this space here just about every day since the last post and thought "today will be the day when I update!"... but it never gets done. Life has been SO BUSY lately, and blogging hasn't been on the forefront of my mind, which is so totally weird because I used to live and breathe blogging. Trying to play catch up for the past two months sounds exhausting. Uhhhh, sounds so boring, even though life has been nothing but. My main journaling platform these days has transitioned from this blog to instagram, an instant and brief way of documenting life. Part of what sounds exhausting right now about blogging is that it is a redundancy of what I've been instagraming, but I really need to get back into the swing of writing in this space. I've missed my writing outlet, because heaven knows I have a lot on my mind and heart to share! Since moving to Sacramento, things have gotten rosier for us. Life has taken a turn for the best in all kinds of ways and we are feeling very blessed.

So where to start? Let's just start with what a beautiful day yesterday was since that is fresh on my mind and I just uploaded those pics, k?

The weather yesterday was picture perfect. Not too hot, not too cold, just right in the mild 70's. Not a cloud was in the sky. Evelyn had been asking for some time to go to the beach. Living 2 hours away from the nearest sand bar, it really wasn't quite a quick trip option for us. So on Friday night I looked up some spots along the American River by us. I found something on YELP about Paradise Beach, supposedly this stretch of river bank that you can wade in. The pictures looked convincing enough to pass off as a beach, so we packed up our gear, grabbed the sunscreen for the first time in months, and rolled up to what was a surprisingly beautiful sandy shore. The kids were in heeeeaavveeennnn!

It's crazy that when I look at these pictures, I don't see a baby anywhere in sight. Warner is a full-blown toddler boy who has hair just about as long as his sister :) For yesterday morning, that little river beach lived up to it's name - Paradise.